


slime

by dizzy, waveydnp



Series: phimmy [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 12:51:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18315611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/pseuds/waveydnp
Summary: Phil and Jimmy film a video.





	slime

Phil’s voice cuts through the background noise of the television program they have on, startling Jimmy. “Let’s make a youtube video.” 

“What?” 

“It’s Sunday. We don’t have anything else to do. And look-” Phil turns his laptop around to show Jimmy what he has paused. “Doesn’t this look fun?” 

Jimmy groans. “It’s _Sunday_. We can’t do work on a Sunday! It’s illegal!

“Youtube isn’t work for you,” Phil says. “So we can do it on your channel. Loophole!” 

Jimmy just whines. 

“I’ll edit?” Phil offers. 

Jimmy slumps down until his ass is hanging off the couch. “Can’t. Don’t have any bones.” 

“We can do that weird foot thing you like so much after?” 

Jimmy cracks an eye open and looks at Phil. “And you won’t laugh at me?” 

“Do I ever? Wait, don’t answer that.” Phil reaches over and pokes Jimmy in the stomach. “Okay, get dressed.” 

“I hope you don’t think I’m putting trousers on for Youtube. I still don’t even understand why I have to do that for the radio,” he says. 

“Because your coworkers filed that complaint?” Phil grins with his tongue caught in his teeth. “No trousers for youtube, but you do need them in Tesco.” 

“Tesco?!” Jimmy kicks a foot out. “Why!” 

“We need ingredients! Slime doesn’t make itself.”

“God, Phil. If you weren’t so cute, I swear…”

Phil rubs the teeny tiny little bit of squishiness under Jimmy’s belly button. “We can get Gregg’s on the way home.”

Jimmy makes a loud, drawn out grumbling kind of noise as he hauls himself up off the couch. 

-

“Do we want crunchy or… not crunchy?” Phil asks, frowning at his laptop as Jimmy comes out of their bedroom.

“What?”

“The slime,” Phil says, scrolling through the google image results for slime. “You can make it crunchy or fluffy or—”

“Phil. You know I don’t sodding care.”

“Pretend, then,” Phil orders.

Jimmy rolls his eyes. “Fine. Not crunchy. Smooth. Smooth like a baby’s.”

“What colour?” Phil asks, cutting him off.

“Green,” Jimmy says, picking Phil’s computer up and shutting it unceremoniously. “If we’re doing this let’s go do it.”

“I think we need to go to like, a proper craft place,” Phil says, standing up from the sofa and pulling out his phone. “D’you reckon we can get borax at Tesco?”

Jimmy hides his face in his hands and makes a noise of mock despair. “I don’t even know what that is.”

“Right, I’ll just google it.”

-

Turns out they can get borax at Tesco, along with everything else they need, and a few things they don’t, like chocolate milk and a giant bag of Haribo because Phil’s in the mood to indulge all his childish whims today, apparently. Jimmy doesn’t stop giving him a hard time, but he also grins when Phil suggests they absolutely _must_ find an array of glitters or their slime won’t be complete. 

He gets Jimmy his Gregg’s on the way home as promised, and he won’t pretend he isn’t glad he dragged them both out, no matter how much Jimmy whinges about making God angry at them for sullying his day of rest with glorified goop.

“Does God know you’re gonna suck my toes later?” Phil asks and Jimmy punches him hard on the shoulder.

It’s worth the sting to make Jimmy’s face go all red like that. “Don’t pretend like you don’t like it too,” he mumbles. 

Phil doesn’t try to deny it. “Kinky shiz later. Slime time now!” 

\- 

They spread out their slime making haul on the guest bed, since they can’t get the camera angle wide enough for the setup that Phil usually films in. 

“School glue and shaving foam,” Jimmy says, picking the canister of foam up. “You sure this isn’t meant to be kinky, mate?” 

“Shush.” Phil stands behind the camera testing to make sure everything is nice and focused, then he steps back around to the front. “Alright, we ready?” 

“Oh, you’re filming?” Jimmy looks straight at the camera. “Cuntballs titfucker-” 

“Shut up!” Phil cries out. “You’re awful!” 

“You knew what you were signing up for when you asked me along,” Jimmy points out. “Just making sure you’re really going to regret that editing offer.” 

“Do you still want it for your channel?” Phil asks. 

Jimmy shakes his head. “Nah. Do it on yours. People like these videos.” 

“You saying I need the views?” Phil lifts an eyebrow as he gets settled on the bed with Jimmy. 

“Isn’t that what you keep me around for? We both know what the moneymaker here really is.” Jimmy raises his hands to frame his face and blinks a ridiculous impression of something angelic. 

Phil turns to the camera with an overly-bright, “Hi, guys! So you’ve seen the title, and you know what we’re doing today - it’s Phil Murders Jimmy (Not Clickbait!)” 

Jimmy snorts. “We’ve not even started and he’s already at it with the violence!” 

Phil starts over without flinching. “Hey, guys! So you’ve seen the title of the video - you know what we’re doing today. Making slime!” 

“I’m here under protest,” Jimmy chimes in. 

“He’s here because he’s got a secret school glue fetish,” Phil informs the camera. “Which is one of the things you use to make slime, apparently! Along with…” 

He goes through showing off all the ingredients one by one while Jimmy adds colour commentary. It’s an easy back and forth flow between them, borne from over a decade of making videos both by themselves and together. 

Jimmy might have decided youtube wasn’t really the career for him, but he’s never lost his touch for wooing the audience. 

Or Phil, but Phil would never give him the satisfaction of admitting that. And definitely not in front of a camera.

It’s why they’re sat here now, though, mixing ingredients into bowls and making jokes about come stains - Phil loves this. They don’t do it very often anymore and he misses it. It’s nostalgic, reminds him of their early days and even of watching Jimmy before they even met. 

He’d pretended it was about slime but really it’s just about spending time with Jimmy in a way that forces them to be hyper present and always searching for ways to make each other laugh. Filming with Jimmy is like magic, honestly, and every once in a while Phil just has to force the situation a little bit. Jimmy can be stubborn but he’s got nothing on Phil.

“You lot don’t even want to know what Phil had to promise me to get me to agree to this shit,” Jimmy says straight into the camera. His hands are covered in green food colouring and the slime is a lot more sticky than they’d anticipated, clinging to his fingers no matter how hard he tries to scrape it off.

“Lies,” Phil says, not breaking character for a second despite Jimmy’s clear attempt to embarrass him. “He was practically begging.”

“Oh piss and shit, Phil, it’s staining my nails,” Jimmy whines, holding up his goop-covered digits. “I have to be on telly tomorrow!”

“It’s a true modern tragedy.”

Jimmy turns to show their future audience the carnage on his nails. “Look at this shit, guys. Look at this.”

Phil adds a bit more contact lens solution to the mixture while Jimmy’s lamenting. “You’re just being a trendsetter. All the cool cats are going to want green fingers.” 

“Cool cats.” Jimmy grins and shakes his head. “What about the cool dogs? Why you leaving them out, eh?” 

“I’m not leaving them out! It’s just that all dogs are cool, you don’t even have to specify which ones are, they just all are.” 

“Do you people hear the nonsense that this man speaks?” Jimmy makes a show of trying to scrap the slime off his fingers while he talks, face wrinkled up in disgust. “Phil, love, are you sure we followed those instructions right?” 

_Love._ Oh, the viewers will eat that one up. 

(Phil might be eating it up, too.)

“Maybe not,” he says, then peers at the instructions before looking right at the camera with the biggest smirk he can manage. “Better start over from scratch just in case!” 

Jimmy dramatically rolls off the bed and completely out of the shout, moaning, “Nooooo!” the whole time. 

-

“Well, this is a bit of a disaster, isn’t it?” Jimmy stands with his hands on his hips surveying the scene before them. 

The duvet on the guest bed is covered in various drips of food colour and smears of dried glue. It’s also wrinkled from the tickle fight the filming had ended on, but that won’t likely make it into the video. Jimmy’s got a give-no-fucks attitude towards what he does when the camera’s going, mostly because he trusts that Phil’s line is drawn a lot closer than his own and Phil will take out what he wants to. 

Phil finishes deconstructing the tripod and grabs the memory card from his camera. He’ll have to try and remember to charge the battery before next time to, or at least acknowledge that it’s his intention while fully knowing he’ll forget in the end. 

He pockets the card and then slides around to where Jimmy is to join him. “Absolute disaster, yes.”

“Are we ever getting that green out, do you think?” Jimmy asks, pointing to where Phil had accidentally squeezed the little bottle far too hard and caused a spray of drops. 

“Probably not. We need a new one anyway.” Phil slides his hand into Jimmy’s back pocket. “But do you really want to think about our guest room decor when there’s toe sucking to be had?” 

It’s comical how quickly Jimmy’s head jerks around to face Phil. “Fuck the guest room,” he says. “Let’s go to ours.”

**Author's Note:**

> [reblog on tumblr!](http://alittledizzy.tumblr.com/post/183869615740/slime-philjimmy-co-written-by-alittledizzy-and)


End file.
